Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.

So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Wednesday 20 June 2007

27 Yards of Dental Floss [Cammel Laird Social Club]

Well I told her about a thought
Life’s too short and we really should go for a ride
Paul’s just phoned the war’s postponed
So come on I’ve got the Plymouth outside

The skies a bit dull but the fridge is full
Things could be a lot worse
It’s not like you’ve been captured
By Barbary corsairs

I said let’s head Winchester way
She said I’ve been yesterday
Twenty seven yards of dental floss and she still won’t give me smile

Fired by wine she was almost mine ‘til a fight broke out in the bar
Third rate Les in his Burberry fez had gone just a little too far
Nailing down his bailing wire to the laminate floor
He sang a salty song about a girl from Bangalore

I said would you like to go the zoo
She said yeah but not with you
Twenty seven yards….etc

I’m King Euphoria she’s Queen Victoria
Twenty seven yards….etc

I’m clowning by the Sepentine
She’s still drinking turpentine
Will she ever shine a light on me

And now the notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Plymouth not Argyle, but the American automobile .
Barbary Corsairs Middle Age pirates (the Barbarossa brothers being arguably the most famous) from the Barbary coast of Muslim north Africa. Instead of going for the loot, they attacked Christian ships and ransomed off the captured crew, or sold them into slavery.
Winchester is in Hampshire.
Bangalore capital of Karnataka, India.
Serpentine Christmas day lake swimming in Hyde Park.
"Will she ever shine her light on me?" almost certainly a reference to the The Midnight Special by Johnny Rivers, the chorus of which goes "let the midnight special shine her light on me".


Monkey Man adds:

Bailing wire is used when things are too hot for tape. A favourite of MG, Triumph and Ford apparently

Queen Victoria was famously dour faced and not very amused at the best of times.
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2 comments:

rich said...

Isn't it "Burberry fez" rather than "Burberry furs"?

12 September 2007 at 12:54
EskimoEric said...

Thanks Rich. I originally thought it was fez rather than furs but after listening over and over again I decided on furs.

I don't know why know as burberry furs don't really make sense do they? Doh! Changed to fez. :)

12 September 2007 at 18:23

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