Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Wednesday 20 June 2007

Paradise Lost (You're the Reason Why) [Cammel Laird Social Club]

Well you say you only watch documentaries
And that bad cold you’ve got that’s the flu
And the book that you foisted upon me
I’ll never read it will you

Did you play in the Garden of Eden
Were the goal keeper’s gloves to you tossed?
Coz it seems to me you’re the reason
You’re the reason why paradise lost

Was it you who invented the school run
At the Laboratoire Garnier goal [????]
And is it you who’s to stone for the motorway cone
Barry Venison and Davina McCall?

Did you play in the Garden of Eden
Were the goalkeeper’s gloves to you tossed?
Coz it seems to me you’re the reason
You’re the reason why paradise lost

Oh regain it for me Rodney

Well we’ve all seen you personalised reg plates
And it’s not the worst crime I agree
But we both know full well that it really should spell
“T” “W” “A” “T”, “O” “N” “E”

Did you play in the Garden of Eden
Were the goalkeeper’s gloves to you tossed?
Coz it seems to me you’re the reason
You’re the reason why paradise lost (x3)

And now the notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Paradise Lost poem about Adam and Eve by John Milton - basically a long-winded version of Genesis (the first book of the Old Testament, rather than the band, who were long-winded enough as they were).
Laboratoire Garnier Laurent Garnier's beauty product empire.
Barry Venison ex-Sunderland,
Liverpool, Newcastle and Southampton left back, now an ITV soccer pundit.
Davina McCall stated off as an MTV presenter, now seems to on the box even when it's switched off (Big Brother, Don't Try This At Home, The Vault, Streetmate, Sam's Game and now bloody Popstars).
"Regain it for me, Rodney" a reference to
Milton's bestselling sequel, Paradise Regained

3 comments:

AntMo said...

Did you play in the Garden of Eden


Wear the goal keeper’s gloves ‘til you tossed [????]
Coz it seems to me you’re the reason
You’re the reason why paradise lost

I've always understood the lyric to read:

"Were the goalkeepers gloves to you tossed?"

AntMo said...

And is it you who’s too stoned for the motorway cone
Barry Venison and Davina McCall

"And is it you who's to stone
for the motorway cone, barry venison and davina mcCall"

but in my opinion stoning's too good for the creator of these

EskimoEric said...

Thanks for both of those Anthony. It's amazing how obvious it all seems when someone else gives you the words.

Cheers again.

MM