Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Wednesday 20 June 2007

Stavanger Toestub [Cammel Laird Social Club]

Bastard doorstep sockless stupid
Kill your laughter pain is brutal
Can’t walk properly for a fortnight
Deus Deus
Norway Reds in Bluecoat Chambers
The pain oh Momma the pain worse even than when I cut open
My kneecap on the freshly gritted slope and our village doctor
Cleaned out the wound with a wire brush
So now bang bang bang goes my plan (plan plan) to woo the peg lady
Colossal drag
Teach me to go barefoot

And now the notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Bending of the stubs of anodes in aluminium smelters is known as the "toe-in" effect. There's a few smelters in Norway, around Stavanger. Interesting, but nowt to do with clobbering your toe.

Monkey Man adds:


Just prior to this album and a few years before Abramovich bankrolled them, Chelsea played in Europe and lost 4-2, pathetically, to a lowly Norwegian team by the name of Viking Stavanger. As the lyrics are muffled swear-words I always assumed it was an attempt to capture the mood of the Chelsea team on their long flight home. But then the above lyrics appear inside the cd cover and blow my theory out of the water although these words aren’t heard on the actual track

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think "norway reds in blue coat chambers refers to the fact that a lot(if not most )of current liverpool fans are from norway

and blue coat chambers is of course the oldest building in liverpool

EskimoEric said...

Most Liverpool fans are from Norway? I'll remember that tomorrow when I'm in work surrounded by Scouse not Scandanavian Reds :P

[And no, I'm not a Blue....Or A White (as in Tranmere Rovers, Super-white Army and all that]