Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Thursday 21 June 2007

Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo [Achtung Bono]

I could have put my head in a bucketful of porridge
And moaned about the hospital parking scheme
I would have saved fourteen pound that I've just splashed out
On your second album
For that's what's it akin to
And further more

You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo

If your going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don't keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There's no "S"
It's the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Devine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despair

You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
Authentic Celtic band

Advent in the High Street
I point and sing
Busk when it's Christmas
You only busk when it's Christmas

And you've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo

Shit arm bad tattoo
Shit arm bad tattoo
Shit arm bad tattoo
(you've got a)
Shit arm bad tattoo

Oh well you've got a shit arm
And that's a bad tattoo


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

See the front cover of The Libertines' self-titled second album.
...quote from the Book Of Revelations... refers to The Libertines' What A Waster single from 2002 - offending lyrics are "When she wakes up in the morning, she writes down all her dreams, reads like the Book of Revelations, or the Beano or the unabridged Ulysses.". Splendid.
Book Of Revelation Fairly impenetrable. The Revelation is lavish in colourful descriptions of the visions which proclaim for us the Last Days before Christ’s return and the ushering in of the new Heaven and new earth. The Revelation reveals the series of devastations poured out upon the earth; the mark of the beast, “666”; the climatic battle of Armageddon; the binding of Satan; the reign of the Lord; the Great White Throne Judgment; and the nature of the eternal city of God. Prophecies concerning Jesus Christ are fulfilled and a concluding call to His Lordship assures us that He will soon return.
St John The Divine had a Revelation in the above.
Mary Hopkin Welsh warbler who won Opportunity Knocks on ten consecutive occasions, and subsequently knocked the Beatles' Hey Jude off the no.1 spot with Those Were The Days after Paul McCartney had signed her to Apple. I prefer the Wedding Present's version of the Ukrainian/Russian folk song meself.
"you only busk when it's Christmas" based on the football chant "You only sing when you're winning" which in turn is a rewording of the Cuban patriotic song Guantanamera ("The girl from Guantanamo").

2 comments:

Robert said...

ADVENT in the High Street, I'm fairly sure...

EskimoEric said...

Thanks Robert :)