Mate of the Bloke [Achtung Bono]

Beware of the man who only shows you the best bits
Beware of the band who type out their set lists
Sometimes instead of Arthur Lee
I'd much prefer some Arthur Lowe

And with you by my side
I would aspire to ascend
Such heights where we would find
Tears and laughter cease to matter
And we'd be pleasantly surprised
By our annual water bill

I'm an early 'til late indispensible mate
Of the bloke who does the PA
I can lend or affend
I can mend or befriend
As I help to set up the PA
As I help to set up the PA

I found myself being sued
By the firm More O'Ferrall
I'd sprayed a graffito on to
One of their hoardings

It was for Monsters of Rock
And I'd sprayed 'in church hall if wet'

It was sealing my fate when I said
But I'm a mate of the bloke who does the PA
And the magistrate he was a mate of a mate
Of the bloke who sets up the PA
Of the bloke who sets up the PA
So throw it out of court

I'm a mate of the bloke
I'm a mate of the bloke
I'm a mate of the bloke
I'm a mate of the bloke
I'm a mate of the bloke
I'm a mate of the bloke
I'm a mate of the bloke
I'm a mate of the bloke

Etc....

I'm lost without an inside pocket
I'm lost without an inside pocket
I can find my way home from Sierra Leone
But I'm lost without an inside pocket
I'm lost without an inside pocket
I'm lost
Without an inside pocket


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Arthur Lee lead singer with Love (Forever Changes etc). Was back playing live again until recently, until his death (late 2006) prevented him.
Arthur Lowe Captain George Mainwaring from "Dad's Army" (1968-77), Leonard Swindley in "Coronation Street" (1960-65).
More O'Ferrall UK billboard company, now rebranded as Clear Channel.
Monsters Of Rock Er, a rock festival held at Donnington.
Sierra Leone on the west coast of Africa, surrounded by Guinea and Liberia. The 1991-2002 civil war between the government and the Revolutionary United Front (RUF) resulted in tens of thousands of deaths and the displacement of more than 2 million people (about one-third of the population), many of whom are now refugees in neighbouring countries.

Joy Division Oven Gloves [Achtung Bono]

Well the dish is too hot
you'll never guess what
I've got Joy Division oven gloves
If it's her desire
I'll put my fingers in the fire
'Cos I've got Joy Division oven gloves
I've got Joy Division oven gloves

Ooh ooh tropical diseases
Ooh ooh chemical alarm
Ooh ooh I'm a little blasé
In me Joy Division oven gloves
In me Joy Division oven gloves

I've been here and I've been there
In me Joy Division oven gloves
I''ve been to a post-punk Postcard fair
In me Joy Division oven gloves
Ooh ooh Nagasaki towpath
Ooh ooh tickling the laird
Ooh ooh checking out the Quantocks
In me Joy Division oven gloves
In me Joy Division oven gloves

On a sinking ship a sailor yearns
For his Joy Division oven gloves
Nero fiddles while Gordon Burns
In his Joy Division oven gloves
Talk to the hands, talk to the hands
In his Joy Division oven gloves
Dance dance dance dance
In your Joy Division oven gloves

Ooh ooh piccalilli shinpads
Ooh ooh polishing the nave
I keep wicket for the Quakers
In me Joy Division oven gloves [repeat]

My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf
So I sold it and opened up a stall
Selling Joy Division oven gloves
We got Joy Division oven gloves
Get your Joy Division oven gloves
Hallelujah


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Joy Division Seminal Manchester post-punk band from the late 70's/early 80's.
Quantocks Hills in Somerset, not too far from Bridgwater.
"Nero fiddles while Gordon burns" a recreation of "Nero fiddles while Rome burns". Which is unlikely, since the violin hadn't been invented at the time (AD64).
Nero known as a bit of a bastard at times, but unlikely to be the Rome arsonist, as he wasn't there at the time. Angered the Christians by building himself a huge palace on the ruins.
Gordon Burns presented The Krypton Factor on ITV for years, now the anchorman for the Northwest Tonight news programme.
"talk to the hands" 'cos the face ain't listening...
"dance, dance, dance" from Joy Division's "Transmission".
Quakers The Religious Society of Friends, whose faith springs from the experience that each one of us can have a direct relationship with the Divine.
My Grandfather's Clock is a traditional song, the original starts "My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf, so it stood ninety years on the floor...". The melody is as recited by Nigel. The clock which inspired the song can apparently still be seen at the George Hotel, Piercebridge, County Durham.

MM adds: thanks to Brian for pointing me towards this -

Postcard Records a late Seventies early Eighties Scottish punk record label housing Orange Juice, Josef K and Aztec Camera. Collectable stuff now.

Upon Westminster Bridge [Achtung Bono]

Same old Hampstead
Ken Hom wok set
Dead Sea bath salts
Jog proof iPod
Iron age hill fort
Long term roadworks
High tide bird watch
B & Q Homebase

If Jesus came to Earth today
They've crucify him straight way
Upon a cross of MDF
And they'd use No Need For Nails

Ship-shape farmhouse
Dry stone wall chart
Cashback foot spa
Straight down Ladbrokes
Low cost school trip
Ramraid Oxfam
Christ that sun's hot
Yes that's right sir

Oh help me Mrs Meddlicot
I don't know what to do
I've only got three bullets
And there's four of Motley Crue

Spoiling Good Friday my ex-love sent to me
Twelve drummers singing
Eleven chairmain dancing
Ten mascots whinging
Nine stewards flapping
Eight christening invites
Seven cows a barking
Six vicars strumming
Nick fucking Knowles
Four boring words
Carphone Warehouse and Matalan
And a pulled up at Bangor-on-Dee

I'm driving backwards at peak hour
Along the Edgeware Road.

Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Upon Westminster Bridge is a poem by William Wordsworth, September 3, 1802.
Hampstead famous for the heath - "The Lungs Of London".
Ken Hom Oriental cook.
Dead Sea the lowest exposed point on the Earth's surface (1369ft below sea level), on the border between the West Bank, Israel, and Jordan on the Jordan Rift Valley. The endorheic body of water is the deepest hypersaline lake in the world, 76km long, up to 18km wide and 400m deep at its deepest point.
iPod Apple's 'pocket-sized ultralight hard-drive based device', i.e. MP3 player.
B&Q, Homebase where paintballers go on their weekends off.
"No Need For Nails" Not sure this actually exists - I only know of "No More Nails" and "Hard As Nails". Whatever, a solvent adhesive.
Ladbrokes bookies.
Motley Crue Poodle metal band from the 80's, still going. Vince Neil, Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx get the bullets from me.
The guitar solo sounds uncannily like Woody Guthrie's This Land Is Your Land.
The next bit is obviously to the tune of The Twelve Days Of Christmas.
Nick Knowles host of BBC's DIY SOS.
Carphone Warehouse mobile phones.
Matalan low cost clothes and home store.
"...and a pulled-up at Bangor-on-Dee" i.e. a non-finisher at the racecourse, which is situated near Wrexham.
I'm driving backwards at peak hour... inspired by Spike Milligan's ballad I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas, first broadcast on the Goon Show in 1956 in the The Great Tuscan Salami Scandal episode (see where Banzai got their ideas from). Milligan sang this to fill in due a musician's strike at the time.
Edgware Road London street on the Bakerloo line between Paddington and Marylebone stations.

Surging Out of Convalescence [Achtung Bono]

Darts in soap operas
Oh so wrong oh so wrong
No one scoring and there's
Too much chat between each throw

Worse than this though is when
Cheers are raised up for a bull
Granted, bull's a double and an out
But I know that they don't know
Therefore I propose no soap darts

Is your child hyperactive or is he perhaps a twat
Sometimes I like to watch wave rage down at Fistral beach
Last Ash Wednesday I had tantric sex and it was shit
Next Ash Wednesday I might strive to lick my elbow
Try in vain
For they say
Few succeed

I wrote to the Horse & Hound
To gloat over what I'd done
I'd stored their magazine
In a data retrieval system
Well let's face it what are they going to do
It's not as if they know where I live
And anyway I cut the caper back in 1984

Oh broken matrons! Oh joyless beds!
For those whose souls the iron has entered

And if I get to Heaven's Gate
I'll doubtless have to wait
While St Peter investigates
The inevitable asterisk

The inside of a Halex 3-star table tennis ball
Smells much like you'd expect it to


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Fistral The main surfing beach in Newquay (Cornwall). Too many pikeys these days.
Horse and Hound "The equestrian world's only news weekly".
...stored their magazine in a data-retrieval system It was a common copyright warning on magazines such as "The contents of this magazine, either in whole or part, may not be reproduced, stored in a data retrieval system...blah, blah, blah." In 1984, of course, few people had access to such a system.
Halex 3-star Table-tennis ball - The cream of ping-pong balls.

Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo [Achtung Bono]

I could have put my head in a bucketful of porridge
And moaned about the hospital parking scheme
I would have saved fourteen pound that I've just splashed out
On your second album
For that's what's it akin to
And further more

You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo

If your going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don't keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There's no "S"
It's the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Devine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despair

You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
Authentic Celtic band

Advent in the High Street
I point and sing
Busk when it's Christmas
You only busk when it's Christmas

And you've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo
You've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo

Shit arm bad tattoo
Shit arm bad tattoo
Shit arm bad tattoo
(you've got a)
Shit arm bad tattoo

Oh well you've got a shit arm
And that's a bad tattoo


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

See the front cover of The Libertines' self-titled second album.
...quote from the Book Of Revelations... refers to The Libertines' What A Waster single from 2002 - offending lyrics are "When she wakes up in the morning, she writes down all her dreams, reads like the Book of Revelations, or the Beano or the unabridged Ulysses.". Splendid.
Book Of Revelation Fairly impenetrable. The Revelation is lavish in colourful descriptions of the visions which proclaim for us the Last Days before Christ’s return and the ushering in of the new Heaven and new earth. The Revelation reveals the series of devastations poured out upon the earth; the mark of the beast, “666”; the climatic battle of Armageddon; the binding of Satan; the reign of the Lord; the Great White Throne Judgment; and the nature of the eternal city of God. Prophecies concerning Jesus Christ are fulfilled and a concluding call to His Lordship assures us that He will soon return.
St John The Divine had a Revelation in the above.
Mary Hopkin Welsh warbler who won Opportunity Knocks on ten consecutive occasions, and subsequently knocked the Beatles' Hey Jude off the no.1 spot with Those Were The Days after Paul McCartney had signed her to Apple. I prefer the Wedding Present's version of the Ukrainian/Russian folk song meself.
"you only busk when it's Christmas" based on the football chant "You only sing when you're winning" which in turn is a rewording of the Cuban patriotic song Guantanamera ("The girl from Guantanamo").

For What is Chatteris... [Achtung Bono]

One way system smooth and commendable
Go by bus they're highly dependable
The swings in the park for kids have won awards
The clean streets acknowledged in the Lords

But what's a park if you can't see a Linnet
A timetable if your journey is infinite
My bag's packed and I'm leaving in a minute
For what is Chatteris without you in it

Car crime's low the gun crime's lower
The Town Hall band cd it's a grower
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce
Although there was a drive-by shouting once

But there's a brass band everywhere
And I don't drive so I don't care
And as the nightingale sang in Berkeley Square
What's Chatteris if your not there

Like a game bird reserve short on pheasants
Weaver's cottages devoid of tenants
A market town that lacks quintescence
That's Chatteris without your presence

Three good butchers
Two fine chandlers
An indoor pool
And a first class cake shop
Ofsted plaudits
Envy of the Fens
Crick barriers at both ends

But what's Chatteris if your not there
What's Chatteris if your not there [repeat]

I may as well be in Ely or St Ives


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Chatteris is in Cambridgeshire, roughly 7 miles from March, and roughly 20 miles from Cambridge.
A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square popular British song, tune by Manning Sherwin (1915), lyrics by Eric Maschwitz, first published in 1940, originally performed by Ray Noble, and made famous in the same year by Vera Lynn. Also performed by Nat King Cole, Glenn Miller, Harry Connick Jr. and Sonny Rollins. A famous version by The Manhattan Transfer won a Grammy in 1981 for its arranger, Gene Puerling. I won't mention the movie of the same name from 1979.
Berkeley Square is a town square in the West End of London in the City of Westminster, originally laid out in the mid 18th century by architect William Kent. It is named after the noble Gloucestershire family of the same name whose London home, Berkeley House, had stood nearby until 1733.
Ofsted Office for Standards in Education.
Fens Area of England that fans out from the Wash across Cambridgeshire, Lincolnshire and West Norfolk. Once an inhospitable swampy wilderness, now a network of waterways for holidaymakers to crash their barges on.
Prick barriers A traffic-calming device of particular abundance in the Fens. I can't speak for Chatteris, but nearby Gamlingay certainly has them, at both ends no less. They're somewhat like a chicane but more Z-shaped than hourglass-shaped and the purpose is to allow traffic through from one direction at a time.
Ely Cathedral city in Cambridgeshire, founded in 673 when Princess Etheldreda, daughter of the Anglo-Saxon King Anna adopted Christianity and formed a Coven/Convent one mile north of the Saxon village of Cratendune, an act that later ensured her elevation to Saint Etheldreda. Far more important, of course, for that famous night in Paris 1973 when Ely made the whole of Britain proud by winning the Grand Final of It's A Knockout / Jeux Sans Frontières.
St. Ives in Cambridgeshire, which is actually the ancient town of Slepe in the old county of Huntingdonshire. This ancient riverside market town is now named after the Persian Bishop, St. Ivo. St. Ives stands on the River Great Ouse and is world famous for the Chapel on the Bridge.

Monkey Man adds:

Linnet a type of bird

Corgi Registered Friends [Achtung Bono]

In the kingdom of the blind
It's said the one-eyed man is king
And in the kingdom of the bland
It's nine o'clock on ITV

I believe I've seen holograms
With more substance than you
Automatic doors don't open for you

"C" "O" "R" "G" "I"
Corgi registered friends
"C" "O" "R" "G" "I"
Corgi registered friends
Meet up on a Monday with your
Corgi registered friends

You call Glastonbury Glasto
You'd like to go there one day
When they've put up the gun towers
To keep the hippies away

December sees Kitzbuhel
Clad in Low Alpine
Your children are painfully souless
Ralph's in Brize Norton

"C" "O" "R" "G" "I"
Corgi registered friends
"C" "O" "R" "G" "I"
Corgi registered friends
You do your Del Boy impressions with your
Corgi registered friends

For sale gym equipment
And now your jeans are too tight
Amanda Burton on auto pilot
Is all you need each night

I wear a tolerance robe
I have the patience of Job
But when I hear of your wife's silling giggling
At Ann Summers parties

"C" "O" "R" "G" "I"
Corgi registered friends
"C" "O" "R" "G" "I"
Corgi registered friends
You got to medieval banquets with your
Corgi registered friends

Stick this in your Volvo glove compartment


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

CORGI Council for Registered Gas Installers, the national watchdog for gas safety in the United Kingdom.
"In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." is a quote from the 15th century philosopher Erasmus. Or in other words, if all else around you were ignorant than even a little knowledge would make you significant in that community.
Kitzbühel Skiing (and golfing) location in the Alps.
Lowe Alpine make walking gear.
Brize Norton RAF base in Oxfordshire, between Witney and Carterton.
Del Boy Mr Jason's character from Only Fools And Horses.
Amanda Burton Dr Sam Ryan in Silent Witness these days, but forever Heather Haversham/Huntingdon/Black in Brookside in the mid-eighties to me.
Job Another chap with a Book in the Old Testament (there's a joke here somewhere about the Book of Jobs). Basically, Job loses his family, his wealth, and his health. Job's three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar, come to comfort him and to discuss his crushing series of tragedies. They insist his suffering is punishment for sin in his life. Job, though, remains devoted to God through all of this and contends that his life has not been one of sin. A fourth man, Elihu, tells Job he needs to humble himself and submit to God's use of trials to purify his life. Finally, Job questions God Himself and learns valuable lessons about the sovereignty of God and his need to totally trust in the Lord. Job is then restored to health, happiness and prosperity beyond his earlier state. I'd have stayed in the pub meself.
Ann Summers Sex toys and the rest.

Restless Legs [Achtung Bono]

There she lies in here fleecy gown
By my side in the eiderdown
But she can't get a ticket to Morningtown
As I've got restless legs

Boring though this fool may be
Slumber still won't visit me
As long as you stay next to me
For I have restless legs

Milky drink of Sudafed
That should sort you out she said
As I kicked myself clean out of the bed
Grazed my restless legs

Homepathic cures I've sought
All in all they've come to naught
I wish it was some astronaut
Who had these restless legs

Four oh six and I'm wide awake
I've got an uncontrollable urge to take
A five mile hike around the Ogwen Lake
Stretch these restless legs

No sympathy from Uncle Greg
Nor indeed from Aunty Meg
Thank God I'm not Jake the Peg
With an extra restless leg

So come the day when I don't exist
And worms are flying through the graveyard mist
Don't go bothering the exorcist
It's just my restless legs


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

(ticket to) Morningtown Morningtown Ride was written by Malvina Reynolds, and was first released by The Limeliters in 1962. The Seekers version from 1966 is probably the most famous version.
Sudafed Decongestant medicine for catarrh and sinus congestion.
Ogwen Lake Popular tourist and angler destination in North Wales, on the A5 four miles from the village of Bethesda. Read more about it here.
Jake The Peg Rolf Harris song and character, with a 50% bonus in the leg department.

We Built This Village On A Trad.Arr. Tune [Achtung Bono]

And the scout hut debate still rages on
The most dangerous junction in Christendom
And Cathy ???? fourth milk bank opens soon

And yonder the deacon in misguided trousers
Yonder the deacon in misguided trousers

We built this village on a Trad.Arr. tune [repeat]

Ma ma maroon was the colour of my true loves' hair
She's got a cross-stitch exhibition over there
A spate of pan fires isn't going to happen round here
It fills me with joy to see moshers out jogging
It fills me with joy to see moshers out jogging
Hey no local news [????] called fuck your conglomerate
No knarky young upstarts can fuck your conglomerate

We built this village....etc

Rehearsals afoot for the Christmas Play
It's called "Roll the square Arthur" and mind what you say
It's a cricketing farce with a thickening plot
Act One Scene One Brenda Blethyn get shot

Graduated to solids disturbingly early
Graduated to solids disturbingly early
The Mummers the poppers [based on the notes below]
The best of the Coppers

Anyone can join so I discarded my jeans
And played Blind Man and Pantheus, the King of Thebes
Some Bloomsbury peripherals said I had the best line

Check you sheds check your sheds I think I've lost my mind!

We built this village....etc


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Title based on Starship's "We Built This City (On Rock And Roll)".
misguided trousers mentioned previously by Morrissey in Get Off The Stage ("You silly old man/In your misguided trousers/With your mascara and your Fender guitar..."), the b-side of Piccadilly Palare. Brenda Blethyn British big- and small-screen actress. The cricket farce in question is "Outside Edge", in which she played Roger Dervish's (Robert Daws) long-suffering wife Miriam. Crap fact: the show was originally a stage play, with Prunella Scales playing Blethyn's part.
Mummers Actors, basically. In mummers’ plays, the central incident is the killing and restoring to life of one of the characters. Often associated with Morris Dancing.
Poppers pills.
Mamas & Papas Harmony-rich California pop from the 60's.
The Coppers Bob and Ron Copper were a pair of... well, folk singers is perhaps doing them an injustice - say, brothers who sang folk songs. They had wonderful voices. Their stirring rendition of the the final verse of The Banks of the Sweet Primroses can just about reassure you that you are not making a complete fool of yourself over a rag, a bone and a hank of hair -

Come all young men, that go a-courting,

Pray pay attention to what I say,

There is many a dark and a cloudy morning,

Turns out to be a bright sunshine-y day.

(even if when you invite her to the cinema on a Friday night she claims she has to stay in to wait for the plumber, for example.) Worth singing while out on your bike and no one is around (tho' considering in the previous verse the woman he was a-courting took herself down 'to some lonesome valley, where no man on earth shall e'er me find', it seems a trifle optimistic.) (Ta to Tom Wootton for this).
Pantheus, King of Thebes Greek mythology time. From Euripides' drama "The Bacchae", King Pantheus of Thebes contended against Dionysus, the God, for the adoration of the Theban women. The god was winning by bewitching the women when the king interceded.
Bloomsbury peripheral reference to the Bloomsbury group, a bunch of posh artists including Vanessa Bell, Duncan Grant, Virginia Woolf, Roger Fry, etc.

Monkey Man adds:
Milk Bank - not sure if this is the right lyric but milk banks are repositories of human breast milk.

Twydale's Lament [Achtung Bono]

Indicate then you stupid bastard how was I supposed to know
That you intended to go left I'm not a mind reader

You should be cast away into the firey pit
And in that firey pit there are
Eternal sleeping policemen

I saw a young professional couple playing pooh-sticks on a Cotswold bridge
I watched them walk along the banks of the Windrush eating jasmine ice cream
Before heading north
Towards Wyre garden centre and Marianne Faithful
Splendid

I picked up all the elastic bands dropped by the postman on my driveway
And I took them up to the pub on a Thursday evening
As that's where he likes to go for the quiz
He believes he is needed for the music round
His friends obviously humour him

Anyway I place myself at a nearby table
And whenever he tried to light up a cigarette
I fire it out of his mouth with one of the elastic bands
Which he finds most annoying
Most annoying

Gouranga Gouranga
Yes I'll be happy
When you've been arrested for defacing the bridge

Notes taken from http://www.hmhb.co.uk/

Twydale Claire, used to be in Evil Gazebo.
sleeping policeman speed bump in the road.
Cotswolds A fairly extensive area of middle England, with plenty of green hillsides and dry stone walls.
Windrush River in the Cotswolds, popular with anglers.
Wyre Forest in Worcestershire, on the edge of the Cotswolds.
Marianne Faithful convent-girl-cum-singer, more notorious for her involvement with the Jagger/Richards drug bust in 1967.
Gouranga originates in the Hare Krishna religious movement, whose founding father, Shri Krishna Caitanya Mahaprabhu, was also called Gaura. Stickers bearing the word Gouranga or stating “Call out Gouranga and be happy!” have been appearing on bridges over motorways and railways in Scotland and the north of England, purely to annoy drivers as to its meaning.

Bogus Official [Achtung Bono]

I'm the man that you need on the day that it rains
I'm the wiser advisor on Capital Gains
I'm the low life pretending to look at your drains
I'm a bogus official
Don't let me in

I'm the police I'm the clergy
I'm Measures and Weights
I'm the chap doing the survey on alley gates
I need to know where you'll be on the following dates
'Cos I'm a bogus official
Nice dress

Courteous friendly jolly and fat
With a smile saying look I know it's under the mat
I don't give a fuck about your missing cat
"B" "O" "G" "U" "S" Official

Depressed Beyond Tablets

I walk caverns and abysmals that I hope you never dream of
I search around for exits but I'm doubting if there ever was an entrance
In the first place
It's a bleak as the boondock
Where stern faced Neubauten rehearse

Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills

The sunshine and Jennifer seem such a distance
The universe is ruled by chance and indifference
And I'm shrouded
By inexorable darkness
And I tell you this for nowt
La Belle Epoque sang Black is Black
Yeah well I sing
Black is black is black is black

Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
The cloud base is low on the Clwydian Hills

While she's squealing with pleasure in the arms of her lover
To infernal regions I've been sent to gut humming birds according
To my sentence
Your optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead

Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills
Depressed beyond tablets and gone beyond pills

Oh the results of my lifetime
On a string of nil-nils
Hey Blakey does your bus go by the dark satanic mills
If I was in CSNY I'd be Stephen Stills
And maybe four more without the numerous pills


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

The title appeared in Chris Morris' "Brasseye" episode on Crime; a Ted Maul interview with the Huffords begins, "Dad unemployed; Mum depressed beyond tablets. You want to help these people, but the truth is, they're got to help themselves..."
Boondock rough, isolated area.
Stern-Faced Neubauten reference to Einsturzende Neubauten, German industrial godfathers.
Belle Epoque cite "Black Is Black"... Belle Epoque were a French 70's female disco group, Black Is Black was their major hit, #2 in 1977. The song itself was a cover of the 1966 #2 for the Spanish quintet Los Bravos.
Clwydian Hills A 20-mile range of undulating hill and moorland; not mountainous, but the views aren't bad. Separating the luscious Vale of Clwyd from the Dee Estuary, this open, expansive ridge is often called the north-eastern rampart of Wales.
dark satanic mills from Blake's Jerusalem.
CSNY (David) Crosby, (Stephen) Stills, (Graham) Nash and (Neil) Young, formed in 1968 from the embers of The Byrds, Buffalo Springfield and The Hollies.
Stephen Stills guitarist and vocalist for CSN(Y)

Asparagus Next Left [Achtung Bono]

We’ve just been performing a guerrilla gig
In the middle of another group’s guerrilla gig
Well surely that’s the ultimate guerrilla gig
But still they cried like girls

Road signs on our country lanes
May not be what they seem
Asparagus next left
Who says
I’ve been upstream

Going down there for plum tomatoes
That’s not a good idea
For horse manure 200 yards
Read bottomless perdition

When the club versus country dispute arose
Small children were trampled in the exodus
We all knew someone at primary school
Who had a very powerful magnet

This way for new potatoes
An arrow points innocently
Dirt track to a darker place
That’s what it says to me

Last chance for hanging baskets
They’re even giving you clues
Fresh broad beans and aubergines
Eupemisms Audrey euphemisms

Whatever happened to the plumbers van
The humble amateur transit van
Vans have become ridiculous
With their strategies and logistics

Vere left for marmalade
I don’t think so Joe
And why are tractors turning
We really ought to know

So stay alert on the minor roads
Remember Phyllis Triggs
Ooh rhubarb let’s go
She’s still not been accounted for

Monkey Man adds:

Anyone know who Phylis Triggs was?