Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Saturday 6 October 2007

The Len Ganley Stance [Back in the D.H.S.S.]

Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance (x8)

No no no no no more locomotion
No no no more dancing in the street
No no no no no more mashed potato
No no no more shuffling of the feet

Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance (x4)

Keep your arms as rigid as a juggernaut
Clench your fists, point your knuckles straight ahead
Do your best to look like a teddy bear
Then try and pretend to look vertically dead

Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance (x4)

Praise the Lord, you all look so beautiful
Bulging waistcoats, thirty inch of neck
Shine your shoes and head for the Crucible
Brush the baize and keep the crowd in check

Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance (x4)

Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance – oh my god
Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance – set the trend
Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance – You know what Andy Warhol says
Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance – We can do this forever

Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance (x3)

Come on baby do the Len Ganley stance

Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance (x4)


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Len Ganley Snooker referee.
Crucible Sheffield theatre, home to annual World Snooker Championships (presented by David Vine, of course).
Locomotion, Mashed Potato 60's dances based on single songs.
Andy Warhol Pop artist & mate of the Velvet Underground.


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