Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted: Restless Legs [Achtung Bono]

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.

Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.

So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Thursday, 21 June 2007

Restless Legs [Achtung Bono]

There she lies in here fleecy gown
By my side in the eiderdown
But she can't get a ticket to Morningtown
As I've got restless legs

Boring though this fool may be
Slumber still won't visit me
As long as you stay next to me
For I have restless legs

Milky drink of Sudafed
That should sort you out she said
As I kicked myself clean out of the bed
Grazed my restless legs

Homepathic cures I've sought
All in all they've come to naught
I wish it was some astronaut
Who had these restless legs

Four oh six and I'm wide awake
I've got an uncontrollable urge to take
A five mile hike around the Ogwen Lake
Stretch these restless legs

No sympathy from Uncle Greg
Nor indeed from Aunty Meg
Thank God I'm not Jake the Peg
With an extra restless leg

So come the day when I don't exist
And worms are flying through the graveyard mist
Don't go bothering the exorcist
It's just my restless legs

Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

(ticket to) Morningtown Morningtown Ride was written by Malvina Reynolds, and was first released by The Limeliters in 1962. The Seekers version from 1966 is probably the most famous version.
Sudafed Decongestant medicine for catarrh and sinus congestion.
Ogwen Lake Popular tourist and angler destination in North Wales, on the A5 four miles from the village of Bethesda. Read more about it here.
Jake The Peg Rolf Harris song and character, with a 50% bonus in the leg department.

Half Man Half Biscuit
Half Hearted