Tedius people tiresome town
Under the gaze of the mayoral frown
Always calm with a gentle breeze
Tarkus in black vinyl please
But what would you do
If the sexton's wife from the best kept village nearby
Came running with bells round her neck
And says you better move away tomorrow or today
'Cos when the owl starts laughing
You will all fall down
There's an outbreak of Vetus Gerulaitis on the way
Why it's Mr Kowalski
It was you all along
That ski lodge would have been mine
If it wasn't for you meddling kids
But what can you do
When your mum's in Rampton bouncing off the walls and singing
Who's afraid of Virginia Wade
Why do that today when you can always put it off until tomorrow
Was our motto
Subsequently engraved on a plaque
As a reminder of the attack
Of Vetus Gerulaitis
We all fall down
We all fall down
We all fall down
We all fall down
Who's afraid of Virginia Wade
Of Viriginia Wade
Who's afraid of Virginia Wade
An outbreak of Vetus Gerulaitis in the town
In the town
In the town
In the town
We all fall down
Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk Vitas Gerulaitis Tennis player with a name that sounds like a venereal disease. Deceased via dodgy air conditioning/heating arrangement. Tarkus An LP by ELP. Dreadful stuff. sexton minor lay official of the church, usually some old git. I think the sexton has something to do with bells, but frankly I give nary a tinker's cuss. Kowalski Judging by later LP titles, likely to be a name borrowed from Del Monroe's character in "Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea". Although it could be a reference to Mr Brando opposite Ms Leigh in "A Streetcar Called Desire". ski lodge ... meddling kids Kowalski would make a good name for a "Scooby Doo" baddie. In the inestimably brilliant cartoon series, the villain always had a Polish name and with the aid of a rubber mask and a projector managed to scare off all other people trying to own the ski lodge/fun fair/mine/mansion. In the startling denouement, the gang from the Mystery Machine would unmask him and he would usually say something along the lines of "that ski lodge would have been mine if it wasn't for you meddling kids". Ou sont les nieges d'antan? Virginia Wade Nasal-voiced English tennis player, coincidental winner of Wimbledon ladies championship in 1977, year of the Silver Jubilee. Virginia Woolf was an abused-as-a-child lesbian novelist who wrote classic though rather dull books. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" is over-rated crap which I think starred Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Rampton High security mental hospital.
Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted
Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted
Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.
Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.
So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.
They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)
"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"
Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.
You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings
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