Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted: The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman [ACD]

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.

Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.

So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Tuesday 18 March 2008

The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman [ACD]

Well I heard a lovely rumour that Bette Midler had a tumour
So gleefully I went to tell my friends
But they said it was a lie and she wasn’t going to die
“And by the way, have we news for you?”

And they told me that the man I had always known as dad
Hadn’t met my mom when I was born
And they reckon that I am but I hope to god I’m not

The bastard son of Dean Friedman
The bastard son of Dean Friedman

And my schoolwork fell behind with this bombshell on my mind
But the art teacher said he understood
But he could only sympathise with the sadness in my eyes
Even though he showed me his Magritte
And in the corridors of fear I would shed a lovely tear
And ridicule flew at me from both sides
And they mocked me in my mocks and embroidered in my socks

The bastard son of Dean Friedman
The bastard son of Dean Friedman

SupercalifragilisticBorussiaMuenchenGladbach

And you can thank your lucky stars that you’re not the bastard son of Dean Friedman
The bastard son of Dean Friedman

Notes from www.hmhb.co.uk

Dean Friedman MOR singer most famous in the late 70's, but still going strong today. Read all about him on Dean's own website.
Bette Middler US comic/actress.
Magritte (Belgian) painter, surrealist, painter of bowler-hatted man with an apple instead of a face.
SupercalafragilisticBorussiaMoenchengladbach Half Mary Poppins song (or from a song), half German football outfit.
"...and you can thank your lucky stars..." Dean Friedman's biggest hit was "Lucky Stars" (no.3, 1978), a duet with a mystery female. You know, "and you can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we like to think we are". Or something like that. He followed it up with a minor hit, "Lydia", but the charts never saw light of him again...

Half Man Half Biscuit
Half Hearted