Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted: Everything's A.O.R. [McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt]

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.

Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.

So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Saturday, 30 June 2007

Everything's A.O.R. [McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt]

Bubble perm
Ever since your bubble perm
I've gone ex-directory
just in case you need me

Swivelchair
In your leather swivelchair
You can turn your back on me
Leave me in the out-tray

She's the main man in
the office in the city
And she treats me like I'm just another lackey
But I can put a tennis racket up against my face
And pretend that I'm Kendo Nagasaki

Executive
think you're all executive
But I could still upset you with
Milligan and Nesbit

Acumen
Loads of business acumen
But can you remember when
You would die for Flintlock

Mary oh Mary
Quite ordinary
Tell me how does your CD collection grow
With Sade and Whitney
Van Dross and TPau
Everything's AOR

She's the main man in the office in the city
And she treats me like I'm just another lackey
But I can put a tennis racket up against my face
And pretend that I'm Kendo Nagasaki

She's the main man in the office in the city
I remember her when she was reading Jackie
And I can put a tennis racket up against my face
And pretend that I'm Kendo Nagasaki

Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Kendo Nagasaki Pseudo-Japanese wrestler. Always wears a mask, probably to remain anonymous and thus never have to retire.
Millican & Nesbit 1970's two hit wonders. The Singing Miners. I kid you not. Won Opportunity Knocks for about nineteen decades running, probably because they were bribing Hughie Green. Sung sentimental songs about dead miners, pit disasters etc. and were thoroughly appalling.
Flintlock Another awful seventies teenage lust band, one hit, "Dawn" in 1976. A sort of toned-down Bay City Rollers. Really. The drummer out of Flintlock became one of the original Tomorrow People which shows you just how good they really are.
Sade, Whitney (Houston), (Luther) Vandross, T'Pau All too AOR (Adult-orientated rock for the uninitiated)
Jackie Mag for teeny girlies. I think it's a D C Thompson job. No mention of zits, tampax or boys in it.

Half Man Half Biscuit
Half Hearted