Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Wednesday 20 June 2007

Blood on the Quad [Saucy Haulage Ballads]

They looked at my postcode
They asked me to speak
It was then I decide my prospects were bleak
Well it may be through gooks [????] rule
It may be through God
One day there's gonna be
Blood on the quad

Blood on the quad
Blood on the quad
Me in the bell tower
And blood on the quad

They've been punting on the Backs
They've drunk a crate of Becks
Smashed the punts up with an axe
Now they're going to drop their kecks

Well they say not to spoil them by sparing the rod
You'll know I complied when there's
Blood on the quad

Blood on the quad
Blood on the quad
Me in the bell tower
And blood on the quad

Can you hear Talvin Singh
Blood on the quad
Blood on the quad
Me in the bell tower
And blood on the quad

It sounds like a class rant but it's really because
I am the landlord of the pub that gets the cemetary trade

Blood on the quad
Blood on the quad
Me in the bell tower
And blood on the quad

And now the notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Quad The central square in the posher university colleges. Inspector Morse popped his clogs on Exeter College quad, you know.
Becks Bottled beer from
Bremen.
Talvin Singh Eastend Asian virtuoso tabla man. Won the Mercury Music prize in 1999.
The ending sounds not unlike the scene at the end of the 1960's Lyndsay Anderson film If..., where Malcolm McDowell's character starts shooting the pupils and staff at his public school.

5 comments:

Martin said...

"I am the landlord of the pub that gets the cemetery trade"

Martin said...

Oops sorry. Also meant to say..

"They've been punting on the Backs" ... as 'they' do, the Backs being waterways.

EskimoEric said...

Nice one Martin!

billy said...

Hi,

I think it's 'goose rule' rather than 'gooks rule' and I'm sure they've smashed the 'punts' up with an axe B-)

EskimoEric said...

Ooops....thought I had changed phones to punts last year.