Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Saturday 6 October 2007

I Left My Heart In Papworth General [Back in the D.HS.S.]

Precious McKenzie, boy I remember you well
With a gob full of tapioca I would sit and I’d watch you excel
Those legendary rivulets would trickle on down to your chin
But I always wondered what you did when you packed it all in

And what are you doing today?
And what have you done with the money?
And how much did Singleton pay?
Do you think you were misunderstood?
I do.

Down at Stoke Mandeville I bumped into Mr IQ
I said “Hey albino, this is not 1972
Stub out your King Edward and get that small boy off your knee
And melt down your fingerware and get yourself off my TV”

Jim could you fix it for me
To come down and suck out your kidneys?
I’ve got this young brother, you see
Who wants to stay alive to watch Bilko

When I’m pining for a cigarette
I think of all the free ones that I’d get
If I killed myself and came back as a beagle

I left my heart in Papworth General


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

On the 12" of "Dickie Davies Eyes" originally. Title a parody of "I Left My Heart In San Francisco" by 60's crooner Tony Bennett.
Papworth General First heart transplant operation (in UK?).
Stoke Mandeville Hospital, famous for Jimmy Saville's appearances, specializes in spinal injuries.
Precious McKenzie Commonwealth & Olympic weightlifter, whose surname may actually be spelt Mackenzie.
[Valerie] Singleton Blue Peter presenter.
Bilko Telly sergeant, comedian.
Mr IQ/Albino Jimmy Saville references.
Jimmy Saville Ex-DJ, Mr Fix-It and lots of jewelry, smokes cigars.


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