Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Saturday, 30 June 2007

A Lilac Harry Quinn [McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt]

In this sumptuous hacienda
Where I weigh things up
As they're on the way down
From beneath your Reverend Jim Jones bedspread
I watch the angels look down onto your sweet brow

If God had meant for us to work
Then I'm sure he would've given us jobs
Six weeks to live but at least
I'm not in Journey
Sign on you crazy diamond

It didn't take much time convincing her
"Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula
A merciless despot with nothing to lose
In my Dick Quax running shoes"

Underneath the shade of the average tree where
They handed out mediocrity
I saw you with Alchemy under your arm
Standing in the middle of a long queue

I saw the Goodyear Airship sail over your head
I saw the joke I told you fly over your head

Why don't they have any Badminton Courts in the jungle?
Because there isn't the demand
Oh let me take you by the hand

Sturmey-Archer Capagnolo
Sturmey-Archer Capagnolo
on my mind


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk Harry Quinn A type of bike. HQ had a cycle shop in Liverpool (Harry Quinn Cycles, strangely enough). Reverend Jim Jones was leader of the religious cult whose members (977 of them) committed mass suicide in Guyana in about 1979. They all died at Jonestown. Journey Why don't these MOR bands ever get run over by a big lorry? "Sign on you Crazy Diamond" Pink Floyd reference. Wirral Peninsula The posh bit next to Liverpool, separated by the Mersey. Well, as posh as it gets around there. HMHB come from there. Alchemy Dire Straits double live album. Goodyear airship duuuh, an... airship... with.... Goodyear written on it. Presumably if people see an airship in the sky they will buy more tyres. Or something like that. The average tree A line from Waltzing Matilda goes "Underneath the shade of the coolibah tree" Maybe something more specific. Dick Quax Mid 70's New Zealand middle distance runner. 5000m silver medal at 1976 Olympics, set world records at distances from 1500m to the marathon. Sturmey-Archer el-cheapo British three-speed [also 5] hub bike gears as found on sit-up-and-beg Raleighs and the like. Also the likes of the Chopper and Grifter. They are neat bits of engineering, but all of the cogs in the hub make them a bit inefficient. They are safer than external (derailleur) gears as you can't wrap the hub around your spokes. Campagnolo Italian bicycle components, built like a Ferrari gearbox, and dead expensive. Kids with Campagnolos were richer than kids with Sturmey Archers. The rear axle of my spare wheel is a 7-speed Campagnolo Corsa Record. My only claim to having a top of the range component on my bike (and even then, only when I'm using my spare wheel). I try to avoid Shimano, but it isn't easy.

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