The Best Things In Life [ACD]

My uncle Charlie is a cynical man
His wife’s a touch skeptical too
They’ve got one of those stickers in the back of their van,
It says “We’ve seen the prices at the zoo”

Today I knocked up on their door and said that I was passing
Charlie launched a scathing attack
When I asked him what I’d done he said “You stupid bastard,
We live in a cul-de-sac”

Went to Dali’s party, it was fancy dress
I just stuck an apple in my face
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress
He reckoned he’d beat Gagarin into space

He said “Hi there Salv, like I’m sorry I’m late
But I was getting done up as a Mogul Thrash acetate”
Me, I got bored so I went home
I got into bed and came to the conclusion

There is nothing better in life that writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro (x3)
There is nothing better in life that writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub

Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

The title is the same as a song by Dusty Springfield, covered by The Tourists a while ago.
[Salvador] Dali Surrealist painter, posters of whose stuff with wibbly clocks can usually be found on the walls of sad student rooms.
"I just stuck an apple in my face" Refers to a painting by Magritte which depicts a man in bowler hat, with an apple instead of a face.
[Yuri] Gagarin First man in space (1961), died in a plane crash (1967).
Mogul Thrash An offshoot of 70's rockers Asia, it seems.