Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Saturday, 6 October 2007

Venus in Flares [Back in the D.H.S.S.]

A million housewives every day, pick up a can of beans and say
“What an amazing example of synchronisation”

He looked out of the aeroplane and he saw the Alps way down below
He fixed his gaze upon the white terrain and he could see a portrait in the snow
And he shouted “Hey look down there. I can see Robert Powell
That’s an ominous example of the power of TV”

And I went la la la la la la la
La la la la la la laaaaaa
I went la la la la la la la
Just like everyone else does when they can’t think of any more words

Yeah ok I had a Kojak mac, by Christ they were trendy at the time
I got it into my head that I had to stamp out crime
The man behind the mask at C&As was quite polite
He said that when I wore my mac I wouldn’t have to fight

And I went yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah sure George
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh God

Well, The Grand Old Duke Of York
Well, he had ten thousand men
And he marched them up to the top of the hill
And he had them all again


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Title refers to "Venus in Furs" by The Velvet Underground.
"A million housewives..." Reference to old Heinz beans advert.
Portrait in the snow Some people allege that viewed from an aeroplane, you can see Christ's face when looking down on the Alps, hence, I can see ...
Robert Powell Actor who played the title role in Jesus of Nazareth; also attempts comedy with Jasper Carrott.
Kojak Telly detective, Telly Savalas.
C&A Chain of clothes shops.
"The Grand Old Duke of York..." Nursery rhyme.
George Well, George Savalas was Telly's brother (he appeared in Kojak too). Not sure it's him they're referring to, though.




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