D' Ye Ken Ted Moult [ACD]

Our Ted it has to be said produces proof beyond us
Rain, shine or gale force nine his frames remain intact
Helicopters in my garden bringing wind (I beg your pardon)
Double glazing is amazing, don't you all agree?

No fears, they’ll last you for years - our statistics prove it
And you'll pose as everyone knows its you who sets the pace
On the cold and frosty mornings scoff and howl at Yuletide warnings
Insulation for the nation, that's the one for me

No draft ‘cos that’d be daft, a feather acknowledges Newton
And a ball and chain let loose on the pane can only smash your nerves
In the hibernating season pick the best, it stands to reason
No complaining when it’s raining, thanks to Mr Moult (wahey)

Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Title from the Yorkshire song "D'Ye Ken John Peel", who I believe was a famous huntsman of yesteryear. There's a film of this title from 1934, starring John Garrick. John Peel is of course also the name by which John Ravenscroft (world's most wonderful human being and probably the only person ever to play HMHB on Radio 1. Apart from Mark Radcliffe. Oh, and Johnnie Walker) is better known, but that's irrelevant. Peelie is unfortunately a Liverpool fan.
Ted Moult Former "Brain of Britain" and double glazing advertiser. Appeared on "The Archers"; became a farmer.
[Sir Isaac] Newton Physicist, mathematician, hit on head with apple.
helicopters, ball and chain, feather and no draught Everest double glazing imagery, as advertised by Ted.

The Best Things In Life [ACD]

My uncle Charlie is a cynical man
His wife’s a touch skeptical too
They’ve got one of those stickers in the back of their van,
It says “We’ve seen the prices at the zoo”

Today I knocked up on their door and said that I was passing
Charlie launched a scathing attack
When I asked him what I’d done he said “You stupid bastard,
We live in a cul-de-sac”

Went to Dali’s party, it was fancy dress
I just stuck an apple in my face
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress
He reckoned he’d beat Gagarin into space

He said “Hi there Salv, like I’m sorry I’m late
But I was getting done up as a Mogul Thrash acetate”
Me, I got bored so I went home
I got into bed and came to the conclusion

There is nothing better in life that writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro (x3)
There is nothing better in life that writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub

Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

The title is the same as a song by Dusty Springfield, covered by The Tourists a while ago.
[Salvador] Dali Surrealist painter, posters of whose stuff with wibbly clocks can usually be found on the walls of sad student rooms.
"I just stuck an apple in my face" Refers to a painting by Magritte which depicts a man in bowler hat, with an apple instead of a face.
[Yuri] Gagarin First man in space (1961), died in a plane crash (1967).
Mogul Thrash An offshoot of 70's rockers Asia, it seems.

Album: Back in the D.H.S.S. / Trumpton Riots EP

Originally released without the EP in 1985, relabelled with EP added 1988.










Song List:

Busy Little Market Town {instrumental}
God Gave Us Life
Fuckin' 'Ell It's Fred Titmus
Seal Clubbing
99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
Time Flies By (When You're The Driver Of A Train)
I Hate Nerys Hughes
The Len Ganley Stance
Venus In Flares
I Love You Because (You Look Like Jim Reeves)
Reflections In A Flat
I Left My Heart In Papworth General
The Trumpton Riots
Architecture And Morality Ted And Alice
1966 And All That
Albert Hammond Bootleg
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit