Said you'd find me helpless on the A47
Shouting at the passers-by that Alan Brazil
Seems to be the singer in The Goombay Dance Band
And now you want to put me in the ambulance
But I don't want to go in the ambulance
I asked if you would like to go along to
see The Rocky Horror Picture Show
You said you'd love to so I murdered your family
Cause I hate The Rocky Horror Picture Show
And besides I'm going browsing round hardware shops
You'll find me dying casually on the 14th fairway
Trying in vain to wave a fore ball through
I'll understand if you shouldwalk straight past me
Ideally though I hope you call an ambulance
Unless of course you're
Sampling Alessi at St. Neots
Or chasing Bunty James round Hilton Park
Oh Oh Lori at St. Neots
Is this me or is this Dead Shot Keen?
Hello this is Joanie
This plectrum once belonged to you know who
Grocer Jack Grocer Jack
Get off your back go into town
Our Tune was a stomach churning spot on Radio 1, Simon Bates' programme. Now not there. Boo hoo. "and the baby died. So let's play The Power Of Love..."
A47 Road that runs from Leicester to Great Yarmouth, passing by/through such East Anglian delights as Wisbech, Kings Lynn, Swaffham and Norwich. As well as bloody Peterborough United.
Alan Brazil Ex Ipswich, Spurs & Man. Utd. striker. Appears in slightly more portly guise these days on Sky Sports.
Rocky Horror Picture Show Musical film/play about transvestite aliens by Richard O'Brien, who went on to do C4 Crystal maze.
Goombay Dance Band Had a no1 disco hit with "Seven Tears". Utter crap.
"Sampling Alessi in St. Neots" Alessi were a US pop duo (twins). St. Neots is a town in Cambridgeshire, where Greene King apparently have a monopoly on the pubs. Scary.
Bunty James One of the presenters of "How!" Not as useless as Fred Dinenage, not as old as Jack Hargreaves (RIP!), and not as dull as the guy who was professor of mechanical engineering at Southampton University whose name I can't remember (Jon Miller, actually). I can't forgive them for bringing HOW back.
Hilton Park M6 Service station or perhaps Leigh Rugby League ground.
"Oh Oh Lori in St. Neots" Oh Lori was a/the Alessi hit.
Dead-Shot Keen Striker from a footy comic, owner of quality footwear.
"Hello, This is Joanie" From a song by Paul Evans in 1978, title the same with "(The Telephone Answering Machine Song)" at the end. It must be American if they need to have it explained that it is an answering machine.
Grocer Jack From a 60s song called "Excerpt from a Teenage Opera" by Keith West.
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