Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.


So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Thursday 21 June 2007

We Built This Village On A Trad.Arr. Tune [Achtung Bono]

And the scout hut debate still rages on
The most dangerous junction in Christendom
And Cathy ???? fourth milk bank opens soon

And yonder the deacon in misguided trousers
Yonder the deacon in misguided trousers

We built this village on a Trad.Arr. tune [repeat]

Ma ma maroon was the colour of my true loves' hair
She's got a cross-stitch exhibition over there
A spate of pan fires isn't going to happen round here
It fills me with joy to see moshers out jogging
It fills me with joy to see moshers out jogging
Hey no local news [????] called fuck your conglomerate
No knarky young upstarts can fuck your conglomerate

We built this village....etc

Rehearsals afoot for the Christmas Play
It's called "Roll the square Arthur" and mind what you say
It's a cricketing farce with a thickening plot
Act One Scene One Brenda Blethyn get shot

Graduated to solids disturbingly early
Graduated to solids disturbingly early
The Mummers the poppers [based on the notes below]
The best of the Coppers

Anyone can join so I discarded my jeans
And played Blind Man and Pantheus, the King of Thebes
Some Bloomsbury peripherals said I had the best line

Check you sheds check your sheds I think I've lost my mind!

We built this village....etc


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Title based on Starship's "We Built This City (On Rock And Roll)".
misguided trousers mentioned previously by Morrissey in Get Off The Stage ("You silly old man/In your misguided trousers/With your mascara and your Fender guitar..."), the b-side of Piccadilly Palare. Brenda Blethyn British big- and small-screen actress. The cricket farce in question is "Outside Edge", in which she played Roger Dervish's (Robert Daws) long-suffering wife Miriam. Crap fact: the show was originally a stage play, with Prunella Scales playing Blethyn's part.
Mummers Actors, basically. In mummers’ plays, the central incident is the killing and restoring to life of one of the characters. Often associated with Morris Dancing.
Poppers pills.
Mamas & Papas Harmony-rich California pop from the 60's.
The Coppers Bob and Ron Copper were a pair of... well, folk singers is perhaps doing them an injustice - say, brothers who sang folk songs. They had wonderful voices. Their stirring rendition of the the final verse of The Banks of the Sweet Primroses can just about reassure you that you are not making a complete fool of yourself over a rag, a bone and a hank of hair -

Come all young men, that go a-courting,

Pray pay attention to what I say,

There is many a dark and a cloudy morning,

Turns out to be a bright sunshine-y day.

(even if when you invite her to the cinema on a Friday night she claims she has to stay in to wait for the plumber, for example.) Worth singing while out on your bike and no one is around (tho' considering in the previous verse the woman he was a-courting took herself down 'to some lonesome valley, where no man on earth shall e'er me find', it seems a trifle optimistic.) (Ta to Tom Wootton for this).
Pantheus, King of Thebes Greek mythology time. From Euripides' drama "The Bacchae", King Pantheus of Thebes contended against Dionysus, the God, for the adoration of the Theban women. The god was winning by bewitching the women when the king interceded.
Bloomsbury peripheral reference to the Bloomsbury group, a bunch of posh artists including Vanessa Bell, Duncan Grant, Virginia Woolf, Roger Fry, etc.

Monkey Man adds:
Milk Bank - not sure if this is the right lyric but milk banks are repositories of human breast milk.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

So how do you do comments then?

EskimoEric said...

Like you just did :)

Unknown said...

Cool - thanks. Great stuff MM/EE - in fact, the lyrics should be PUBLISHED, alongside Larkin, Hardy and the like. Coupla suggestions for your ????s - let me know an email address if you'd rather I did it that way - I feel a HMHB week coming on...

Cathy Staniforth's milk bank
Ain't no local groups called "FYC"
No narky young upstarts called "FYC"

And there’s a couple of bits of shouting, the second of which is something like “There’s a sword dance ???? on the seventh of june????”

EskimoEric said...

Thanks grow.trust

It's nice to know that there are some people who read the site :)

With regards to your suggestions for filling in the ???? blanks you can email eskimo#eric#uk@hotmail.com, just remove the "#" from the address. They are in there as an anti-spambot measure.

Cheers,

MM/EE