Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted

Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.


Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.

So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.

They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)

"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"

Monkey Man, June 2007

Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.

You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings

Saturday, 6 October 2007

I love you because (You look like Jim Reeves) [Back in the D.H.S.S.]

My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount
What am I supposed to do?
I’m up the creek but never mind the paddle, boy
I haven’t even got a canoe

I sold my soul to an Arctic Roll
I went to hell on a red skidoo
I did the Shake ‘n’ Vac and broke my fucking back
And now my library books are nine weeks overdue

Knock knock, who’s there?
The patron saint of Llandudno
The patron saint of Llandudno who?
Tony Bastable!

You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
And I’ll be in heaven before you
I love you because you look like Jim Reeves


Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

"I Love You Because" was a 1964 hit for the aforementioned Mr. Reeves (a US crooner from the 60's). It was in the charts for 39 weeks!
Peggy Mount Now a dame, actress. Not a babe.
Arctic Roll 89p from Sainsbury's.
Skidoo A C5 on skis.
Shake'n'Vac A carpet cleaner (shake it on, vacuum it off). The TV ad had an infectious song, complete with dance ("Do the Shake'n'Vac and put the freshness back..."). Frank Sidebottom has covered it in "Firm Favourite Ads".
Llandudno North Wales town where people go to die.
Tony Bastable Presenter of ITV's Magpie, and also "Merry Go Round", with Mavis Nicholson (it was on after Crown Court on Fridays, I'm told). He should've been sent down for that.

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1 comment:

Myeral said...

The song keeps popping into my head since that Panama bloke with the canoe turned up.

5 December 2007 at 14:19

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