Hedley Verityesque [McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt]

Found a nice little cove where nobody else goes
Took a trip 'round the caves at Drac and said
"It's good to explore the more cultural aspects"

Hedley Verityesque
she passed into folklore
Trod on lines in the pavement and said
"There's no room for enigmas in built up areas"

Sweats who think they're hard
My head no end do in

Brakes fail in the rain
Down Memory Lane
Come relive my paper round with me

But I don't see any more
pent up Alsatians
They used to wait by the door and say
"It's nice to know you're here
It's nice to know you're here"

But I don't want anymore
stark German film noirs
And I could well do without
The hand-clapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters

You were in my hall
Now you're on my wall
Peter Sarstedt Mr Irony
Get in the hole
In some warm lagoon
I'll be with Aysha soon
Brakes fail in the rain

Down Memory Lane
Come relive my paper round with me
But I don't see any more
big mad Alsatians
They used to wait by the door and sing
"It's nice to know you're here
It's nice to know you're here"

And I don't need any more stark German film noirs
And I could well do without
The hand-clapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters
Where all of the audience try to convince themselves that what
they are doing is silly but acceptable
and the only thing I can say is
"Oh Kip Keino"

Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk

Hedley Verity Yorkshire left-arm spinner, died in the Second World War. Famed for the least expensive ten wicket analysis in first-class cricket against Notts in 1932: 19.4-16-10-10, ending the innings with 7 wickets in 15 balls. So now you know. He also took 144 wickets for England at around 24 apiece.
Caves of Drac Caves on the east coast of Majorca, away from the mass of pissed teenagers on heat.
"Sweats who think they're hard, my head no end do in" Sweats being cockney rhyming slang for Scots persons (sweats = sweaty socks = jocks). Many of who think a good night out consists of drinking 2 gallons of beer until 3am and then getting into a brawl. Except those from Edinburgh of course.
pent-up alsatians… often found on the sort of council estates that look like Beirut with Morris Marinas. You know the sort of places, all the men are wandering around with four-packs of cheap lager wearing their vests, the women are all no tights, cellulite and white stilettos, kids with crew cuts and a satellite dish on every house. AAAAAAArgh.
…who sing "It's nice to know you're here…"another footy song, sung by home fans to the away fans: "It's nice to know you're 'ere, it's nice to know you're 'ere, it's nice to know you're 'ere, F*CK OFF!", to the tune of "On Ilkley Moor bar t'at".
stark German film noirs Not enough of them on the telly, I think. [Well, maybe too many - PJF]
Blockbusters Schoolkids quiz show "Can we have a pee Bob?"
Peter Sarstedt 60's (maybe 70's) singer of the dreadful "Where do you go to my lovely" Only other hit was "Frozen Orange Juice", the follow-up. And pseudo-sophisticated drivel "I want to get inside your head". I can't bear to say any more apart from the fact that I think he's still alive. Robin Sarstedt ("My Resistance is Low") was his brother, as was Eden Kane.
Ayshea [Brough] An Anglo-Asian woman who had her own TV show on ITV at 4.20 one week-day in the 70's called "Lift Off With Ayshea". It was basically a pop programme.
Kip Keino A long distance runner from Kenya in the 70's. His son is a bit of a star runner these days.