Well the dish is too hot
you'll never guess what
I've got Joy Division oven gloves
If it's her desire
I'll put my fingers in the fire
'Cos I've got Joy Division oven gloves
I've got Joy Division oven gloves
Ooh ooh tropical diseases
Ooh ooh chemical alarm
Ooh ooh I'm a little blasé
In me Joy Division oven gloves
In me Joy Division oven gloves
I've been here and I've been there
In me Joy Division oven gloves
I''ve been to a post-punk Postcard fair
In me Joy Division oven gloves
Ooh ooh Nagasaki towpath
Ooh ooh tickling the laird
Ooh ooh checking out the Quantocks
In me Joy Division oven gloves
In me Joy Division oven gloves
On a sinking ship a sailor yearns
For his Joy Division oven gloves
Nero fiddles while Gordon Burns
In his Joy Division oven gloves
Talk to the hands, talk to the hands
In his Joy Division oven gloves
Dance dance dance dance
In your Joy Division oven gloves
Ooh ooh piccalilli shinpads
Ooh ooh polishing the nave
I keep wicket for the Quakers
In me Joy Division oven gloves [repeat]
My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf
So I sold it and opened up a stall
Selling Joy Division oven gloves
We got Joy Division oven gloves
Get your Joy Division oven gloves
Hallelujah
Notes taken from www.hmhb.co.uk
Joy Division Seminal Manchester post-punk band from the late 70's/early 80's.
Quantocks Hills in Somerset, not too far from Bridgwater.
"Nero fiddles while Gordon burns" a recreation of "Nero fiddles while Rome burns". Which is unlikely, since the violin hadn't been invented at the time (AD64).
Nero known as a bit of a bastard at times, but unlikely to be the Rome arsonist, as he wasn't there at the time. Angered the Christians by building himself a huge palace on the ruins.
Gordon Burns presented The Krypton Factor on ITV for years, now the anchorman for the Northwest Tonight news programme.
"talk to the hands" 'cos the face ain't listening...
"dance, dance, dance" from Joy Division's "Transmission".
Quakers The Religious Society of Friends, whose faith springs from the experience that each one of us can have a direct relationship with the Divine.
My Grandfather's Clock is a traditional song, the original starts "My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf, so it stood ninety years on the floor...". The melody is as recited by Nigel. The clock which inspired the song can apparently still be seen at the George Hotel, Piercebridge, County Durham.
MM adds: thanks to Brian for pointing me towards this -
Postcard Records a late Seventies early Eighties Scottish punk record label housing Orange Juice, Josef K and Aztec Camera. Collectable stuff now.
Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted
Half Man Half Biscuit Half Hearted
Ah yes. Why spend time typing up the lyrics to Half Man Half Biscuit songs? Because they are gems like no other. We celebrate British bands and artists for seminal musical works (think Bowie or Elvis Costello) and, unless you happen to know the late John Peel's inside leg measurement or you were enlightened as a student, the majesty, wit and sheer intelligence of the HMHB opus is ignored. Shame, shame, shame.
Over the years a number of web sites have recorded some lyrics and a multitude of research notes for the songs [see the excellent www.hmhb.co.uk]. The latter are invaluable to understanding the wide ranging and often obscure historical references. The former are a mixed bag, with only a few songs listed.
So what started out as a full hearted attempt by me to record the lyrics so my sister could understand the songs has developed into a blog post and a project to educate the half-hearted masses and to provide a definitive song list with lyrics.
They'll be other crap on here too such as my own songs "Progressive Dads", "People called Wilson", "Blog-proof iPod", "Armchair Expert" and "Holistically Challenged"- I need to finish writing them first :)
"...Baby I'm from the Wirral Peninsula.
A merciless despot with nothing to lose"
Please note that all lyrics are mostly my interpretation and are presented here to assist you in understanding the songs. They are the copyright of others.
You should also pay a visit to www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ for HMHB lyrics - a superb site with a superb range of listings
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12 comments:
But here's the question. If the line "Dance Dance Dance Dance" comes from Joy Division's "Transmission", does the line "I've been here and I've been there" come from the Anti-Nowhere-League's "So What" (as covered frequently by metallica)?
Hi Nick,
Unfortnately I don't have a clue.
I've always wondered if Postcard should be capitalised; is he singing about a postcard fare or a Postcard fare - wasn't that a record label?
I really have always wondered that.
I should get out more.
That's a new one on me. I can't find any info about a record label of that name.
Here you go; home of Orange Juice and Josef K.
Impossible to write about without using the word "seminal", I think.
Lyrics and notes updated. Thanks for giving me the lead.
'The Quakers' is also the nickname of Darlington Cricket and Football clubs. As the line is 'I keep wicket for the Quakers' it could refer to that rather than the religious movement.
I have to laugh because I was singing that line out loud around the house yesterday, pleased with the fact that I knew exactly what it meant. And now you have cast doubt in my mind again!
Oh well, another HMHB enigma.
Hi
What a site! It's been brilliant finally understanding lines I've been singing wrong for ages!
Just one correction to Oven Gloves:
"polishing the nave" (as in church), not "knave" (as in naughty!).
Pedantic, but hey...
Thanks so much for your hard work,
Sean
Hi
Great site! I can finally understand lines I've been getting wrong for ages!
Just one suggestion:
It's "polishing the nave", not "knave".
Pedantic, but hey!
Cheers,
Sean
Sean,
Thanks for your encouragement and correction. And I didn't see it as pedantic: the lyrics are littered with (my) errors and typos so comments like yours help towards the goal of a complete HMHB lyric listing.
Cheers!
last night on Radcliffe Maconie Gordon Burns was made aware of this song and awarded a copy of "Achtung Bono"...
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